Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize