Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize