they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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