Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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