why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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