So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
