WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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