i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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