I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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