Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
