yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
