She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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