i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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