i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
