OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
