at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think people are normalizing furries
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize