I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
