Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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