I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well I just put wine in my tea
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
