I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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