I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
