We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
