yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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