2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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