college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize