My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
