But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just blew my weed a kiss
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
