Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
