I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
