Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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