you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize