im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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