When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
