i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
