i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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