I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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