I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
