So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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