So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have feelings that need drinking.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
