how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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