just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
