We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Text me some of your sweat
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
