Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
