Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize