Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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