don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
