i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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