it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
