his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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