Dual....:-)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
