I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
