Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
