So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
