'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
