i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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