She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As shirtless as possible
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
