Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize