bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
