I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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