You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
