fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
be right there i have to get my cape
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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