We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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