How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
