now i know why i became what i already was.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
