My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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