tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
