You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
