Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So apparently I’m into choking now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
